Before We Forget Kindness Review
By Celeste Daniels
TW: Grief
Hello, audacious readers!
I don’t know about anyone else, but the summer heat and my summer schedule has been busy. Every time I turn around, something is happening. But, as seaon starts to wind down, I hope you are able to take some time and breathe with our July read, Before We Forget Kindness by Toshikazu Kawaguchi.
We are back in Tokyo at our favorite time-traveling café with our beloved café owner, Nagare; stoic but kind barista, Kazu; and adorable kiddo, Miki, as we meet a new set of patrons ready to confront their past mistakes. There’s a kid trying to be brave in the face of his parent’s divorce, a mother looking for help naming her newborn child, a father who couldn’t give his daughter his blessing, and a pair of friends with unresolved feelings. For my people who like to read books in chronological order, this takes place right after the events of Before the Coffee Gets Cold and before Tales of the Café.
Every time I think I can’t be surprised by this series, I inevitably am. While grief and closure are an overarching theme in the series, I think this particular book focuses a lot on overcoming pride.
To me, this is best exemplified with story of the kid. A seven-year-old goes back in time to try and give his parents his approval for the divorce instead of crying like he initially did when he heard the news. He’s determined to be brave and “mature” in the face of his family dynamic changing.
The whole time I was reading it, I wished I could jump into the book and tell his “Hey, it’s okay to be upset. You don’t have to be put together for them. You get to be a kid.” – and that’s exactly what he learns when he goes back and has the same reaction. While it can be easy to say he wasted his one chance to time travel, I think it was important for him to learn that sometimes, you’re not going to be able to have the “mature” reaction. Sometimes, you’re just hurt (also, thank you Kawaguchi for giving me one not super sad story. I appreciate it.)
The rest of the stories follow a similar pattern: the new mother comes to terms with her husband’s “childish” personality, as it brought light and love into their relationship; a father swallows his pride to give his daughter a blessing for her soon-to-fail-marriage, giving her the courage to ask for help in the future; and a friend pushes past her jealousy towards her former best friend to realize the romantic depth of her friend’s feelings and give her closure before her death (while one-sided and brief, I did appreciate the LGBTQ representation; please, add more).
What I appreciate the most about this book is how it showcases the many ways pride shows up in our lives. So often it’s portrayed as boastful and loud combined with a superiority complex. Yet, more often than not, our pride is mixed with jealousy and hurt. It hides under our assumption of our role in someone’s life. But by not allowing people to see our hurt, we deny them the chance to support us. By making it a point to be right rather than understanding, we miss the chance to get to know someone. By assuming we know everything about someone, we lose the opportunity to grow with them. And life is too short to do that.
I hope you enjoyed Before We Forget Kindness. Feel free to comment your thoughts below and make stay tuned for August/September’s book club read, coming soon. Make sure to also check out Audacity’s member-only virtual retreat on September 26th! It’ll be two days of young professionals and industry experts coming together to learn, build community, and relax.
Until next time, don’t forget to read audaciously!
