The Bridal Business Edit Part 2: Finding Balance

By Jessica Wise

No one told me planning a wedding was going to be a full-time job within itself, but I should have known better. As someone who works a 9-to-5, runs two businesses, and works consistently as an actress, I’m no stranger to being one woman doing the work of many. I’ve even been a wedding planner once or twice.

“So,” I thought, “what would be so hard? I actually know what I’m doing. I’m special!”

I was so wrong.

There’s planning a wedding, and there’s planning a wedding as a bride. There’s being a professional event planner, and there’s being a bride.

As my mere nine months of wedding planning grew busier and busier, it hit me. This was damn near like starting a new business. I needed to find a new balance, a work-life-small business-wedding balance if you will.

It wasn’t perfect, but here’s how I did it:

Calendar for everything.

This should go without saying, but it was important when balancing an already busy lifestyle with planning a wedding. I had my personal planner, wedding binder/planner, joint calendar with my now-husband, my meeting calendar at my day-job, and Audacity’s calendar, all double-checked 24 hours ahead of the day in question and complete with reminder notifications. If it wasn’t on the calendar, it didn’t exist. It also helped me remain as focused as possible during non-wedding-related tasks and jobs…at least until the final two months.

The mistake I made: Not combining the calendars to ensure there was no overlap. I tried to do this as much as possible with my personal planner, but I let too many things get away from me with emails and invites flying and not having that planner on me at all times. Separate calendars are helpful, but I also would suggest picking a master planner that tracks everything in one place and goes everywhere, every day.

Get some help.

I’ve been in therapy since 2021, and it was a big help during this process. As much fun as I had planning my wedding while a lot of great things were happening for me professionally, it was still stressful. Having my therapist as a soundboard kept me from turning into a bridezilla and also gave me a place to focus on myself as I prepared for marriage.

I also outsourced as much as possible. I’m blessed to be able to afford regular bi-weekly housekeeping, and continuing to budget for them helped me balance my life at home by giving me one less thing to worry about. I hired a registered dietician (which was free with my insurance on Berry Street) to combat decision fatigue around meal planning and to help me get my healthiest, and I hired a personal trainer who designed my workouts every week and allowed me to exercise on my own time at the gym of my choice.

The mistake I made: Not scheduling enough personal time. I took myself on quarterly solo dates and had the occasional couch rot day at home, but I should have scheduled the latter more intentionally. I was advised to do this, and to be honest, I didn’t try hard enough. Because I was so busy, scheduling a couch rot was the recharge I truly needed, not going to another aesthetic maintenance appointment and calling it relaxation when I was exhausted. I should have put it on me and my fiancé's joint calendar so he knew not to schedule any dates or activities that day. I should have put my phone on DND. If I could go back, I would schedule it and guard it with my life.

Accept your wedding is #1.

I know. I hated it too. I’ve always loved weddings and wedding planning, but when it was my turn, I was worried my wedding would become my whole personality. I didn’t want to come across like I had nothing else going on or that I was centering men when I’m a proud feminist. I wanted to prove to myself that I was more than my wedding.

And I very quickly had to forgive myself for nearly succumbing to that notion, because it’s rooted in misogyny.

There is nothing wrong with loving and enjoying and talking about your wedding. It’s (hopefully) a once in a lifetime event, and when the bridal era is over, it’s over for good. I’m happy I gave myself permission to lean into this before it was too late. I had nothing to prove to anyone, especially myself. I was already an award-winning, working actress. I had already produced my original play. I was already rebranding Audacity for the better. Sure, this magazine hasn’t made me a millionaire yet, but I didn’t start a business to become chained to it. It was already giving me the freedom I so desperately wanted. I just had to allow myself to have it.

This phase of life for me was only nine months out of the (God willing) 80-plus years of my life. It was gone in the blink of an eye. My businesses and home projects would always be there. They were literally waiting for me, because they were mine.

It was not just okay to let my wedding and marriage preparations become my main priority for a while. It was empowering. It was joy.

For a more intimate look at The Bridal Business Edit, follow us on Instagram for video content covering my wedding story and more details on how we chose our small business partners.